Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Day 71 on Lexapro.

Day 49 on Lamictal.

posted several days later…

This day, when I went to get Em from school, I snuck onto the playground and rushed over to her.

I found her playing with two other girls and holding something that looked like a  bird’s nest.

What were they doing? I thought. Were these girls torturing my baby with some weird bird’s nest game?!

“Look what we made,” Em said proudly. “Well, that girl over there made it but she let us play with it.”

“That is very nice! I like it a lot,” I said, pulling her to the side. “Em, were those the mean girls?”

“No,” she replied. “I think that is her.”

Then she pointed to a little blond girl climbing up the jungle gym.

“Really? That’s her?” Suddenly, my level of hysteria dropped an impressive amount. This girl did not seem so menacing.

And Em did not seem so menaced. She left me in the dust as she ran off to join the kids again.

It was then that her teacher turned around and noticed me standing there.

“Who are you looking for, Ma?”

“Em,” I said, pointing.

“Oooh, yes,” he replied. “Well, I’d like to tell you she is doing well in class. Because she is. But she’s not making any friends.”

“That is what she said.”

“Well, yesterday she had a rough time. Instead of joining in with the other kids, she sat on the side by herself and refused to participate. That made her stick out a little and the other kids noticed. That is why the meaner ones kind of swooped in on her.”

“Really?” I asked, breathing a sigh of relief. This information was welcome for two reasons. One, because the teacher had noticed what had happened yesterday and was actively concerned about it. And two, because this was something that could be fixed. If she jumped in and particpated more, she wouldn’t stand alone as a target.

“This is good, though, right?” I asked, pointing to her running and laughing amongst the other children.

“Oh yes,” he replied. “That is very good. I think she is just a little overwhelmed right now. She will probably be just fine as we go along.”

Em is like me, I thought. She likes to stand back and watch until she is ready to join in with a new group of people. Then, when she decides she is ready, she becomes a fullblown extrovert. I have never learned so much about myself socially than I have by watching Em.

At the end of this day, I was sure everything was going to be okay.