Day 80 on Lexapro.

Day 58  on Lamictal.

posted much, much later…

It’s boots and chaps
It’s cowboy hats
It’s spurs and latigo
It’s the ropes and the reins
And the joy and the pain
And they call the thing rodeo.

– Garth Brooks, Rodeo

This day was truly amazing.

It was my 32nd birthday and, because the rest of my year had been a bit rocky, I decided to plan some sort of extravaganza to celebrate.

And so I did.

Initially I thought the extravaganza should be limited to one day – Saturday – as having a longer celebration might have seemed a bit too much.

But when one of my favorite friends, Jennifer, suggested riding a mechanical bull on my big day, I knew I could not say no. Riding a mechanical bull had always been one of my dreams.

“I am determined to live out my Debra Winger fantasies,” I told my friends.

And I was absolutely thrilled.

So this night, after work, I took Em to spend the night with my mom.

Then Amy and E. Liz met up with me at my house. After an eventful trip to Casa Ole, we headed to Midtown to meet up with my old friend Alfonso, who just happened to bartend at an establishment with a mechanical bull (only on Thursdays.)

When we got there, we were the first to arrive. I knew that Jennifer was planning to come and that Alfonso would definitely be there and Amy and E. Liz were already with me…so I was already thrilled that some of my favorite people would be helping me celebrating.

In my head, though, I didn’t know what to expect. When I initiate an activity, I always want my friends to have fun. I want them to mingle well. I want them to be happy.

But this night, we were all convinced we would have to go home early. We were all old. We were all tired. We all had to work the next day.

And that was okay with me. I was happy to spend time with my friends even for a little while.

***************************************************

Amy and E. Liz and I were the first to arrive at Whiskey Creek. We hung out by the front door, waiting for Jennifer and Alfonso to arrive. I was already so excited.

And then I saw Dustin walk in.

I could not believe it.

My heart leapt!

Dustin is a wonderful friend from what I refer to as my college days (though I was rarely in class.) I had not seen him in forever and certainly was not expecting him to show up on this night.

I was thrilled to see him.

This was the first great surprise.

And then Jennifer walked in. I was so happy to see her. I love her so much. I had not seen her since Em was such a little baby, though I had considered her my best friend so many years ago.

And behind her, I could see another old friend, Brad. Brad had also been an awesome friend in college. He introduced me to his girlfriend, Karen, who tackled me with a delightful hug. They were on their way back to L.A., they told me, but had stayed in Houston an extra night for my birthday. I was amazed.

I knew then that it was going to be a wonderful night.

Everyone was already starting to have fun. Everyone was mingling well. Amy and E. Liz fit in well with my college friends, which delighted me.

I was relieved and relaxed.

“Where is Alfonso?” Jennifer asked me.

“He’s supposed to be here at 9:30,” I told her. “I already asked the guy behind the bar.”

And with that, Alfonso walked in the door.

“Lori King!” He said. “When are we going to watch Jeopardy! again?!”

“I don’t know,” I told him. “But I miss it!”

There was a time when Alfonso would stop by almost every day to watch Jeopardy with me. Other times, when I was not at home, I would come back to the Chateaux (our fabulous apartment) to find him taking a nap on our couch. Those were wonderful times indeed.

Upon Alfonso’s arrival, and the appearance of my new friend Jeff, the fun really began. I could not have asked for a more energetic, hilarious, fun, and pleasant group of friends to celebrate with me on my birthday night.

And somehow, at around 2am, we were all still there.

And even though we’d been here much longer than expected, I still wished it wasn’t really time to go. There were too many good people in one place. And too much fun. And too many laughs.

As I sat on a barrel on the patio of the bar with Alfonso and Amy and E. Liz, my heart was happy.

So this is how it feels to be alive again, I thought.

An amazing feeling to be sure.